Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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