Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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