We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
