Betty ford says i'm here all night
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
