im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
