ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
