I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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