ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
