Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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