My room smells like vodka and shame
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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