Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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