woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
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