I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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