very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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