I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
