Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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