i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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