8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
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