I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
