She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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