After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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