that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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