Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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