I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
