did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
