I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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