My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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