I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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