you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
