I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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