And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
