you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
