Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
