dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
