Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
