"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
