I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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