Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
