I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
