quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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