My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
