Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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