No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
