Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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