I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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