Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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