Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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