So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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