just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
