winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
