i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
