dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
