She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
